How Does the “Grind” Mindset Affect Creators?

I’ve been gone for a while.

There’s a reason for that.

I decided I wanted to try to go into the field of applied behavior analysis. Not because I wanted to, but because I felt pressured into getting a “real” job. (I have no idea what that means but people keep telling me to get one.)

I turned my back on taking care of myself and I tried to work sixty-hour work weeks, write, read, move out of my parent’s house, and maintain a relationship. I ended up burnt out and exhausted. I didn’t feel like myself. I felt hollow. I was depressed. My sense of self-worth was gone.

I believed I could do it all. I believed it would get me what I deserved.

I worked the work weeks that are glorified on social media. It nearly killed me.

Maybe that makes me weak. I don’t really care if it does. I’m here to have a good time, not work myself to death. However, my incapability to create during this time raised a few questions. What role does stress play on creativity? How does trauma factor in? How does a person’s environment impact their creative process?

I did some research.

Here’s what I found out.

Creativity is driven by the dynamic interaction of the default network (DN) and the executive control network (ECN) within the brain. The default network includes the regions of the brain that are more active during passive tasks, while the executive control network is responsible for problem solving and manipulating information in working memory. The salience network (SN) also plays a role in navigating feelings associated with reward.

Creative people show a stronger coupling of the DN and the ECN at rest than other people (Vartanian et al., 2020). This facilitates the development of new ideas and a strong imagination. If you’re sitting here, daydreaming about your novel or figuring out what medium you should create your art in, then your DN and your ECN are working together in an extremely dynamic way to aid you in making that decision. Whether or not your protagonist chooses to take a risk is decided by those two sections of your brain. The spontaneous generation of ideas at rest, that random idea that comes out of nowhere and fixes the massive plot hole, can be attributed to the DN and the ECN.

Stress has a direct negative impact on these systems. It is physically keeping you from daydreaming about your dragons and your protagonist. Stress, particularly acute stress, creates a decrease in ECN activity. The body is put in fight or flight and reorients its systems towards survival. The salience network (SN) and DN work together to observe the environment and consolidate memories for survival purposes. The function of the ECN, which is associated with manipulating information in working memory and pursuing goal-directed behavior, is decreased and creative output is negatively affected.

Your body becomes more concerned with survival (How am I going to pay this bill?) and less concerned with creating (how is my character going to get the bad guy?). When I was working two jobs, thinking about my main character, Madeline, and how she was going to evolve and fight against a major kingpin villain was nearly impossible.

Long term stress and trauma create a unique opportunity in regards to creativity, however. It comes down to one thing: resilience.

Those with high resilience are more likely to have cognitive flexibility. This flexibility, whose relationship with creativity is determined by openness to experience, is strongly correlated with problem-solving and adaptability (Liang et al., 2020). A large portion of creativity is finding unique solutions to complex problems despite adverse situations and environments. For example, trying to figure out how the relationships your character has with others impacts the plot and drives the story is finding solutions to complex problems.

Therefore, trauma, with the presence of resilience, presents a unique opportunity to grow creatively. How are you going to move through life today even though you are triggered and feel bad? I’m not implying that feeling triggered is bad or that it is a problem to fix. It can, however, be a barrier to accomplishing what you want. Successful and ongoing healing from trauma indicates a high level of adaptability and allows for the development of new cognitive structures. Overcoming barriers and focusing on this healing process increases capacity for creativity.

Inversely, without trait resilience, the creative process will be negatively impacted. Chronic stress will make it challenging to problem-solve and the brain becomes oriented on survival. Even perceived stress can negatively impact the creative process. It shuts down.

At the end of it all, I have two key takeaways.

Yes, my trauma does make me funny.

And while difficult situations happen, situations that make you feel like you’d rather die than live another day as yourself, you can build your resilience with healthy coping strategies. And as a result, your creative process will thrive.

Even more importantly though, it’ll help you learn how to take care of yourself.

Since quitting my second job and resigning myself to a life of being a barista/writer, I’ve learned a lot of important lessons. The first of which is that if my base needs are not taken care of, if I am not eating consistently, sleeping, or creating a safe space for myself, then I cannot create. And I can’t eat, sleep, and create a safe space if I’m busy working myself to death.

I’ve started focusing on doing yoga, meditating, baking, cooking good meals, and being kind to myself if I want to binge watch the entire series The Crown in two days. These things strengthen my sense of self and help me feel good. They help me feel whole. Feeling whole makes me want to create more.

If you make it to the top, if you accomplish everything you’ve ever wanted, is it true success if you come home feeling hollow at the end of the day?

To me, true success is learning how to be happy at any stage during your life. It is learning to find joy in the small things, like afternoon rain or a good meal, rather than the endless pursuit of something.

I love writing. It is who I am. It becomes difficult to do when I’m overextending myself and focusing on getting something. It becomes a physiological improbability.

I do not have anything to prove to anyone. And neither do you.

Drink your tea, go to therapy, and focus on what feels good.

References for the articles I used:

Liang, Y., Zheng H., Cheng, J. Zhou, Y., Liu. Z. (2020). Associations between Posttraumatic Stress Symptoms, Creative Thinking, and Trait Resilience among Chinese Adolescents Exposed to the Lushan Earthquake. The Journal of Creative Behavior, 55 (3), 362-373. https://doi.org/10.1002/jocb.460

Vartanian, O., Saint, S.A., Herz, N., Suedfeld, P. (2020) The creative brain under stress: Considerations for performance in extreme environments. Frontiers in Psychology. https://doi.org/10.3389%2Ffpsyg.2020.585969

I’ve read a few more since finishing this post, so if you want some fun reading, reach out to me!