The Friend – Sigrid Nunez

2/5

Alright… Uhm…

Listen.

I tried really hard to like this book. Really hard.

I feel like this is a book you either really love or really hate.

Sadly, I didn’t like it.

The narrator’s best friend and mentor kills himself and she ends up with his dog, Apollo. The book navigates her challenges with that, living in a tiny apartment in Manhattan. She is a writer, as is her friend who committed suicide, and grief complicates the writing process. I adore this concept. I think it provides ample opportunity to dive into the psyche of animals, the bereavement process, and different forms of love.

This book took every single opportunity afforded to it. The prose is beautiful! It is remarkable! It is rambling! Every other page felt like a page out of a philosophy textbook. The only thing its missing is the unnecessarily complex words philosophy loves to adopt for very simple concepts (Have you ever taken a philosophy class? It was the most redundant class I have ever taken.) but it has the big discussions. With everything I love to see in a book, one could assume that I would enjoy a book that has those big discussions.

No.

It is too meta. Far too meta. There are so many unnecessary layers to this book. A writer, writing about a writer, who is grieving a writer, while trying to teach writing, while also writing. It can be creative and funny at times, but it was dry. There was no plot here. It was all a great, big discussion in the narrator’s head—a letter to her dead friend.

It reminded me of The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood in the way it was written. A narrator having a discussion, their thoughts on clear display, and using second person makes for an interesting narrative with unique opportunities. But this novel did not have enough sustenance to build character or develop any sort of plot. There were no stakes. The stakes that were there felt like emotional manipulation, like cheap tricks to make you feel moved. With The Handmaid’s Tale I knew why I didn’t know the narrator’s name and why it was all kept so vague. Here? It feels… What do the kids say? Fake woke.

These topics are important. The relationship someone develops with their dog does make a large impact. Suicide makes a large impact. Grief manifests in many different forms and the bereavement process looks different for everyone. These discussions are necessary.

But not like this. I just wanted more.

I wanted a story.

Perhaps if I read the book again, further down the line, in a more philosophical and intellectual mood, I’ll like it.

If you enjoy reading direct books that make you sit back and ponder your relationship with your dog, their psyche, and how the bereavement process works, then this book is for you. You may love it. I disliked how direct it was.

This book has won the National Book Award. I can see why. It’s a creative style of storytelling that veers off the beaten path. It deals with heavy topics. Who doesn’t like feeling like their dog would miss them if they were gone? It plays with basic human emotions of wanting to feel needed.

I like what it had to say. I don’t like the way it said it.

It feels very literary. I understand the praise it has received. I don’t believe in the praise.

If you’re looking for a book about a dog and their relationship with their human, I recommend The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein. The book had me ugly crying and holding my dog closer than ever. It can be a little cheesy at times, but I’m not lactose intolerant. So, I’ll take it. Extra cheese. (Only in the case of animals).

As for The Friend… Not for me.

2/5.

“What we miss — what we lose and what we mourn — isn’t it this that makes us who, deep down, we truly are?”

Sigrid Nunez, the Friend